Bad With Words
by Brilliant Brunette Beauty
Summary: On the long trip to Cloud City, Leia stumbles upon Han's boyhood journal and uncovers his tragic past. *Now a two-shot*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I love Han Solo, and I always wondered what his childhood was like. I don't know much about extended universe stuff, but I put the small amount I do know into this story. Takes place on the flight to Bespin. Enjoy!**

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Princess Leia Organa putters around the room she shares with her…. Boyfriend? Lover? _Pick something, Leia!_ She putters around the room she shares with Han Solo on the _Falcon_. The trip to Cloud City to meet up with Han's friend, Lando, is proving to be a tedious and oh-so long journey. Time is getting to be hard to pass with nothing to do but read and chat with Han and Chewie, but their conversations are becoming more and more stale every day. The three of them are getting sick of being in the same ship together at this point. No matter how much they usually enjoy each other's company, the war they are so perilously fighting in is now starting to take its toll on each of them, no matter how much they all deny it.

As for their destination, Leia is still entirely unsure about it. Her doubts pile in her mind like storage boxes, making her more and more anxious with each passing day. Her trust has been disintegrated from all the times it's been abused by the people she's come in contact with. She's unwilling to trust this 'Lando' character, even if he is Han's old friend. Her anxiety about landing in Cloud City has made her want to make the most of this trip, to make her actually _want_ it to last longer.

So, Leia is on a quest; not just any quest, mind you. A quest for something to ease this boredom she is suffering from. Chewie is piloting the ship while Han is grabbing something to eat, so Leia realized she had an opportunity. She has never explored the ship fully. It is Han's baby, after all. Even now, when they are progressing into a romantic relationship, she still feels like an intruder on his ship at times. Despite that fact, she is still an adventurous, impulsive young girl at heart. She wants to explore the ship and see the items Han keeps hidden deep within the shelves and compartments scattered about the place.

Of course, what better place to start than the bedroom where Han stays? He probably keeps plenty of interesting things in here… Leia feels a slight pang of guilt for snooping around Han's ship, but the risk of getting caught is also exciting to her in some odd way. On an urge, she ducks her head under the bed, extending her arm to grab anything that might catch her interest. Some dust brushes the palm of her hand, causing her to recoil slightly before diving it back in. She feels a solid, rectangular object beneath her fingers. The smooth surface feels cool to the touch, enticing her even more to just grab it. That's exactly what she does. As she pulls the object out, she sees it is a book of sorts, bound in leather. It's dusty and obviously not new, but the pages on the side of the book look creamy white to her. She carefully opens the book to the first page and skims through it to get an idea of what it is about. What she finds shocks her.

_Ahhh, amazing the things you find while going through junk piles, isn't it? I've been dying to find something I can use to occupy my time and ease my extreme boredom while I'm not being worked to death on this gods forsaken ship. Now, I've found it; a book I can use to vent my frustrations and put down my inter-most thoughts. One thing is for sure; if someone finds this, I'm screwed._

_Maybe this thing could even be a friend. No one is interested in what I have to say anymore, so why not tell it to you, little book I found in the garbage? Gods, I sound crazy, but I don't care. Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Han Solo, or so I've been told. I am around 17 or 18 standard years old. My exact age is unknown, as it is with most orphans. I've been here on Shrike's ship for almost as long as I can remember. I say 'almost' because my very first memory is wandering around Corellia by myself, crying for a reason I can't even remember. Now, I'm a pirate. Against my will, but I'm still a pirate. One day, I swear, I'll get out of here and never, ever come back._

Leia's jaw drops. She has stumbled across Han's journal. She didn't even know he had a journal. Han Solo doesn't exactly scream 'sentimental'. This is obviously a journal he kept as a young man, so why does he still have it now, when he started it at almost two decades ago? Her curiosity compels her to continue reading.

_Am I a terrible person? I feel like a terrible person. You'll never guess what Shrike made me do. Well, you really CAN'T guess, since you're just a book and all… but, like I was saying, Shrike made me do something terrible. We were docked in Alderaan today, the home of the richest people in the galaxy. It's really pretty here, with the green grass growing everywhere and the clean, flowing lakes scattered about people's properties. Wren and I were following behind Shrike as he scanned the area like a hawk looking for prey. He's scary when he's like that. It's like he's bloodthirsty and on the hunt. It makes me think of all the times I disobeyed him when I was younger and got a beating._

Leia tenses when she reads the last line. She knew Han's childhood couldn't be easy, but she had no idea it was like this. Still, she presses on.

_Suddenly, I could see his eyes light up and a smile appear on his face. I followed his gaze and found it had landed on an old man. A small, helpless old man! He looked pained with each shaky step he took with his cane. I felt sorry for him. He was ritzy, though. He looked like he blew his nose with money. Shrike grabbed my shoulder roughly and pointed to the man. "See that old geezer?" he asked me. "Pick-pocket him. Get all the cash that you can find, and I expect you to hit some more targets before I come and get you." I didn't say anything. I just stood there with my mouth wide open, looking back between Shrike and the poor old man who was to be my next victim. I found my voice after what felt like hours and said, "No." What a mistake. Oh gods, what a mistake. Have I learned nothing in all my years here?! Shrike's face turned red with anger, and I could see the fire in his eyes getting stronger. Before I could react, he slapped me across the face with his broad hand. I tried to tell myself that at least he didn't punch me with a closed fist, but man, it _hurt_. My face was on fire._

"_You will do what I tell you, Solo. If it weren't for me, you'd still be a little orphan on the streets in Corellia. You'd be dead without me. I own you. Are we clear?" In a shaky voice, I replied, "Yes, sir." So that was it. Shrike left, and Wren gave a sigh. "Sorry, buddy," he said. "I guess we don't have much of a choice." No, we didn't. Have I ever said how much I HATE working for Shrike? Besides Wren, I have nothing. No friends, no family, no one who cares, NOTHING. That's how Shrike owns me. He knows I'm dead without this job and his ship to stay on, so he reminds me of that every single time I argue with him._

_We pick-pocketed the poor, unsuspecting old man along with other Alderaanian citizens. Hells, we even targeted a pregnant woman. See, I am a terrible person, aren't I?_

Leia thanks her lucky stars that she had the childhood she did. Han's sounds like a nightmare. _'Maybe, if I keep looking, I'll find something happy,'_ she thinks. Maybe she'll find a memory he cherished. Leia flips through pages and looks around to give her a general idea.

_The new girl on the ship is driving Wren and me crazy! She's the only girl we really can come within fifty steps of, so who can blame us for getting a little excited? We all know what Shrike brought her in for, though, even if she doesn't; she's the one who's supposed to whore herself around for money. Most girls who are brought in for that end up realizing that they can't take it and… Well, let's just say, they don't really last._

_I feel bad for her, I really do, but on this ship, it's every slave for himself. Wren and I help each other, but we're like brothers. We'll drool over this girl, sure, but at the end of the day, we can't trust her. That didn't stop us from putting bets on which one of us could get her attention first. Wren said that I wasn't her 'type'. And _he _knows what her type is? I doubt it! Maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow and prove Wren wrong. _

Leia only feels faint jealousy for this girl the younger Han is fawning over. She's more interested than anything. She reads the next passage.

_Her name is Katalina. I've never heard a name like that before. She says she's from Naboo and she wandered the streets there, just like I did on Corellia. I could have talked to her for hours, if only we had the time. She told me all about her family. She had a mother and two little sisters. She never knew her father. Her mother worked hard to provide for her and her sisters, and so did she. That all changed one day when Imperial storm troopers determined her mother was a threat. Why, she doesn't know. They killed her mother, and then her sisters because they were there. She was hiding in the cellar and saw the whole thing happen._

_I don't know why she told me this. She looked like she just wanted to tell someone. Honestly, I liked hearing it. I never had a family. I've never felt what love is like. Hearing her talk about them and seeing how her eyes lit up, it made me smile. Who knows; maybe I'll get to see how it feels myself one day. Katalina is so fragile and soft-spoken, with white-blonde hair and warm brown eyes. Wren was wrong; she's not my type, not the other way around. I like talking to her, though. Maybe I'll have two friends on this damn ship._

_One thing I do know is I'm not telling her about what she'll be forced into. It's not my place and it's better if she doesn't know._

Leia's stomach flips over with disgust. This 'Shrike' is a truly despicable man. Though she knows he's almost certainly dead by now, she can still feel her hate for him building. Now she really can't stop reading. Flipping a few pages, she continues to read.

_I can't believe what just happened! I'm still on edge. Katalina may have just saved my life._

_Someone on the ship stole some spices we were trading. These spices are expensive cargo from Coruscant. Anyone desperate enough could take them and sell them for profit. This person obviously wasn't smart enough to realize that stealing from Shrike is a death sentence. He hates thieves. Ironic, isn't it?_

_Shrike screamed out to anyone within earshot that we were to gather in the holding area of the ship immediately. I dropped the cards I was using in poker with Wren and scrambled to put on my jacket. Wren and I stood in the line of crew members, holding our heads high like Imperial soldiers. My heart dropped into my feet when I saw Shrike gripping a blaster in his slim hands. Shrike doesn't carry a blaster unless he means to use it._

"_One of you little rats stole my spices. Do you have any idea how important those spices are to our trade? Well, do you?!" No one responded. When Shrike asks a very general question like that, it's better to stay silent instead of respond and risk offending him. Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks, right in front of me. An evil smirk began to spread across his face as he turned to me and raised the blaster, aiming it straight at my head. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears, my breathing was heavy. I was sure this was my last moment. Shrike had enough of me, and now I was going to be killed for something I didn't even do._

_The shot never came. I looked down in front of me to find Katalina on her knees. "Please, sir, it wasn't Han!" Shrike looked at her and stroked his beard as he considered what she said. "And how would you know that?" he asked. For a second, I thought she was going to admit to it herself. I couldn't let her do that. She'd be killed. But she didn't admit to it. "I was with Han and Wren all day yesterday and today. They couldn't have done it. I would have known." Shrike likes Katalina already, that much I know. He wouldn't kill her. So, he just nodded his head and walked away, but not without giving me an evil look first._

_Katalina walked away without saying anything to me. I'll find a way to thank her somehow, but I have other things to worry about. I'm Shrike's newest target. He'll look for any way he can find to get rid of me. When he starts things, he always finished them, no matter what._

Leia's so wrapped up in Han's story that she begins to worry about him, despite the fact that it's obvious Shrike didn't get to him. She skips a few more pages.

_We're here in Corellia, my home planet. Wren, Katalina and I practically skipped off of the ramp together. The nice weather and the few days without any incidents have gotten to us. We've all been in a better mood than usual. And excuse me if I'm being nosy, but I think that Wren and Katalina are more than just friends. It looks like Wren won this bet, but I don't mind. They seem happy, and I still have both of them as friends._

_We have no idea why Shrike docked here, considering the market for spices isn't exactly booming. Katalina's advice is to just not worry; after all, at least we're docked somewhere, so who cares where it is or why? I guess since I've been with Shrike longer than most people, I'm more suspicious of him. There are no coincidences with that man._

_As soon as we escaped from Shrike's watchful eye, I showed Wren and Katalina a lake I used to go to when I was younger. I remember I went there in the short amount of time after my first memory and before Shrike found me. Much to the surprise of Wren and I, Katalina started to take her clothes off right in front of us! Wren, shocked, asked her, "What are you doing?!" She stopped, looked at him like he was dense, and replied, "I'm going swimming, of course!" She kicked off her skirt near her already shed blouse and shoes before jumping in the clear water. Wren and I looked at each other, daring the other to jump in after her. At first, I worried about Shrike coming to get us and getting angry at us for 'goofing off', but when I saw how much she was enjoying herself, I got rid of my clothes and dived in after her._

_I don't know how to describe the feeling I got… It's like I was transported back into my childhood somehow. I could see the sun coming down, hear the other kids splashing in the lake, and see a woman sitting on the small hill near the water, smiling at me. My name being called brought me back to reality. I saw Katalina waving her hand in front of my face and calling out, "Han? Hello, Han?" I snapped my head back up and quickly replied, "Um, yeah?" She giggled when she saw I was alright. "You were out of it for a few minutes there." I just nodded and continued swimming around in the lake. I still don't know who that woman in my memory was. Was it my mother? Maybe I had parents at some point and just can't remember._

_After we all got out of the lake and put our clothes back on, we wandered around Corellia for a little while. It's exactly how I remembered it. Smugglers and pirates are at every corner, just waiting for unsuspecting victims to clean of cash. I'm too smart for that now. Now _I'm_ the pick-pocketer. _

_By the time we returned to Shrike's ship, everyone was gone, including Shrike himself. If he needed us, he would have found us by now. Shrike can find anybody he needs to. We were standing there, dumbfounded on what to do now that we actually had some freedom. "Why don't we camp out in the forest?" Wren suggested. I narrowed my eyes at him. I had never been camping before and had no idea how to do it, or where to even start. Katalina, however, broke into a grin and nodded. "That's a terrific idea, Wren! We could get some pillows and blankets from the ship and sleep on the forest floor!"_

_I should have hated the idea. I should have refused to even consider sleeping on a dirty forest floor. But I guess I just wanted something adventurous to do. "Let's go for it!" I declared. The next thing I knew, we were lying on blankets, laughing and telling stories by a small fire we had made with a few extra matches I had in my bunk. I told them how Shrike used to make me steal from a woman with memory loss, so each time I approached her, she's give me a warm welcome, like she had never been robbed by me before. Wren told Katalina the story of how he was caught pick-pocketing by a man with a cane who chased him three blocks, waving the cane around and screaming at him in a foreign language. Katalina laughed and smacked him playfully on the arm. And didn't I say they liked each other? Didn't I?_

_We're going back to Shrike's ship by morning. We don't want him to know we ever left. But now… I don't ever want to go back._

Well, at least she had found one happy memory. Maybe there's more to come…

_I can hardly believe what's happening. Hells, I don't even _know_ what's happening!_

_Wren, Katalina and I got up this morning, all at the same time. It was no coincidence, though. We all looked up for some reason I don't even know. There were planes in the sky, thousands of them, all going in the same direction. They were organized and orderly, like soldiers. Suddenly, a tree near us blew into a million pieces. They were bombing Corellia. I shot up in a panic and grabbed both Katalina and Wren by the back of their shirts, hoisting them up with me. "RUN!" I shouted._

_We bolted away from the clearing in the forest, away from the planes. But we couldn't escape. The sky was black with them. They were everywhere, and I could hear the bombs dropping behind us, following us where we went. We didn't dare stop, even when we felt like our legs were going to fall off. We sprinted until we reached a river that cut us off. "What do we do now?" Katalina screamed over the sound of bombs. I knew there was only one solution. I jumped in the river, letting it carry me downstream. Wren and Katalina were suspicious of it, but they followed after me. The current was strong, no doubt. I wouldn't be able to get out if I tried. I had to reach the end of the river._

_As it turned out, the end of the river wasn't for another two miles or so. I went under at least ten times, and I had to scream out to Wren and Katalina to make sure they were still alive. Finally, we ended at a strip of land in another forested area, shaking and panting. We're taking shelter here for tonight. I've never actually wanted to be on Shrike's ship before now._

Leia can feel a chill go up her spine. Poor Han. That must have been terrifying. Still, she can't stop now. What happened to him? What about Wren? What about Katalina? Shakily, she turns the page.

_I promised myself this wouldn't happen! I PROMISED myself I'd keep them close! How could I be so STUPID?!_

_Wren and Katalina are gone!_

Leia gasps in horror. Her first question is, 'Gone where?'

_We were weaving through the forest together when a blaster shot grazed my shoulder. It singed off part of my shirt and left a blister. We took cover behind trees. Wren and Katalina were closer to each other than to me. I couldn't even see them. More shots followed, then more, then even more. There was WAY more than one person shooting. Shots were flying through the air, twenty, maybe even fifty at a time. We were getting ambushed. It was so chaotic that I couldn't react like I wanted to. I couldn't see anything, much less do anything. So, I let my instincts take over and fell to the ground, crawling to the other side of the forest, away from the shots. I never stopped to think about my friends. How STUPID and SELFISH can I get?! When I realized my mistake and came back, they were gone. That was at least three hours ago and I still can't find them._

_If they're dead, then I know I killed them. I should have stayed. I should have risked getting shot for them. I should have saved them. Gods, there are so many things I should have done. I can only hope they're alive. They were my friends. They were my family, and I betrayed them. They should be here, not me._

All Leia wants to do is hug Han and tell him Wren and Katalina are alright, that it's not his fault, but she can't. Sighing heavily, she puts the book down and wipes the hot tears from her eyes. She can't read anymore.

"Well look who's snooping around." Leia whips her head around and sees Han with his arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe. His expression isn't angry, though. He looks almost amused. "So, you read my journal, huh? What part were you on?" Leia hesitates. She doesn't want to dredge up bad memories, and she's still flustered from getting caught. But, Han wants to know. "You had just lost your friends…" Leia regrets it immediately. Han visibly tenses, looking away from her. "Wren and Katalina…" he whispers to himself. "If you don't mind my asking," Leia begins reluctantly, "What happened to you next?" She doesn't get the silence she expected. Instead, Han smirks and sits down next to her. "I found my way back to town and wandered the streets again. Well, what was left of the streets. Shrike never found me. He must have thought I was dead from the bombings. And to answer your next question, no, I never found my friends."

The last sentence sounds bitter and resigned. He breaks her gaze, looking at the floor; looking hard at something she can't see. Wordlessly, Leia wraps her arms around Han's neck in a comforting hug. She can feel he needs it right now, more than he would probably care to admit. She squeezes him tight, giving in to all the emotion she's felt since reading the book. Han hugs her back, wrapping an arm around her tiny waist and burying his head into her shoulder. Like her, he says nothing. But they both know they don't need to say anything. After all, they've never been good with words.

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**A/N: I kinda wrote it in a hurry. Don't hate me for it! Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: People have been asking me to do another chapter, and at first, I was hesitant because I thought that would just take away from the point of the story. However, after thinking about it, I realized that there is still aspects of what I think Han's childhood was like that I have yet to incorporate into the story and I want you readers to get to know Wren and Katalina a little bit better, so I'm making this a two shot. As for future chapter? No promises. So, without further ado, here's chapter 2 (haha, that kinda rhymed!).**

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They didn't break apart for a very long time. Neither of them felt the need to. They're in the middle of a war, stuck in a ship that feels as if it's getting smaller by the minute, and they're on their way to a city that seems like will never come. Embracing each other was the only thing either could think of to calm themselves down. It was the only way they could express some of the emotion they have been feeling.

Now, they sit together on the floor, both their legs crossed under them. Han just sits staring at the book like it will spontaneously combust if his gaze is sharp enough. He slowly reaches out, ignoring Leia's imploring looks, and skims the surface of the book with his hand. Quickly, he snaps his hand back as if he's just been bitten. It's been so long since he has felt the smooth, cool leather of the book he once treasured. Though he made a resolve to keep the book in order to never forget his lost friends, he took the first opportunity to shove it in some crevice in the ship like it was infected. The book that was once his friend was like his enemy now, taunting him about his dark past and his inability to hold on to the people he cares about.

"I've never had friends like them before or since," Han whispers, his voice hoarse for unknown reasons. He feels Leia's gaze on him, understanding and willing to listen. So, he continues. "I know Chewie is my friend and the best one a person could ask for, but…" He trails off, not quite knowing how to put this into words without it being misinterpreted somehow. Still, he has to try. "Wren and Katalina… They were just different to me. They were my family. After I lost them, I lost all my hope for family. Chewie is great. He treats me like a son or a brother, but my ability to feel a connection like that died with the people I used to have it with." His words sound harsh even to his ears, but he can't change the way he feels, not matter how badly he wants to. Chewie is no Wren or Katalina. He would do anything to get them back, even if it meant trade in his own life for theirs. After all, it is his fault that they're dead. He didn't rescue them. He failed them.

"You think about them a lot, don't you?" Leia asks rather innocently. Han can tell she didn't mean to stir up any bad memories; she simply wants to know. "I think about them every single day," Han answers honestly. He feels the need to think about them often so their memory doesn't die out. Han is the only one alive who knows what happened; the only person alive who knew them at all. Well, now there's one more person who can tell their story.

"Can I read on?" Leia asks, he tone once again masked by innocence. Han nods numbly in assent, no longer caring what she knows about him. He had once feared that if she were to find out about his past as a criminal, she would shun him; cast him out like every other person in his life. However, if she has read this much and not judged him for it yet, he knows that she never will. So, he does not flinch as Leia flips the page past the tragedy of Wren and Katalina and to his new beginning. They read it together.

_I feel numb; no emotion, just shock. I just feel like I should be feeling something more. Is that not what happens when you lose someone? I've seen wives-turned-widows weeping openly on the streets for the husbands who would never return home, orphans sobbing helplessly for the parents they cannot seem to find, and couples crying silently over lost children. This is the bombing that has rocked Corellia. So many are dead. The list of survivors is not even up yet. I, on the other hand, don't care about the bombing. These people are in pain, yet I can only think of myself. I want to stop in the middle of the street and scream at everyone to be silent and mourn my friends with me, but I have to face the facts. Wren and Katalina were like me. The only person who cares or even notices is me._

_I'm still in a life of crime. Pick-pocketing is the only way I can survive here. I have no food, no water, and no place to stay. I'm probably going to remain homeless, but at least I can scrape together my meager winnings and buy something to eat at some of the few shops that are still open. I know that if Wren was here, he would be urging me to get off my butt and get motivated. Katalina would disapprove of me stealing from people and would help me find food elsewhere. It's just too painful to listen to their imaginary advice. I'll write more later. For now, I just want to find a bench to sleep on and try not to think too much about Wren and Katalina._

Looking back, Han does feel sympathy for those affected by the bombings. It was a cruel trick by the still-developing Empire to keep the surrounding planets in line. They picked Corellia because it was both respected and home to some unsavory characters; the balance was very important. If they had bombed a completely un-cared about planet, no one would bat an eye. If they had blown up a planet too important, there would be mass outrage that could threaten the power the rising Empire had on everyone. So, his home planet became the target, and the results were deadly.

"Let's go back some," Han blurts out. "I'm sure I can find one of my happier memories somewhere here." He's done reading about his emotions after the deaths of his friends. It's like he's feeling them all over again. Skipping back in the log a great deal, Han begins to search in a section he knows will be populated by happy memories; his antics with Wren.

_Wren and I are bad kids. We're impulsive, daring, stupid troublemakers. I wouldn't ask to be anything more._

_Earlier, I woke up in the middle of the night to find Wren still sitting upright in his bunk, which is right across from mine. Of course, we always occasionally wake up in the middle of the night when docked on a planet, but we never sit upright until morning when we are fully awake, which Wren seemed to be. "What the hells are you still doing up?" I asked, keeping my voice low. You need all the sleep you can possibly get when on this ship. Shrike picks people, often at random, to do heavy labor for him every day. We need to rest just in case it's us who Shrike picks._

"_I can't believe he did that to you," Wren stated, his quiet voice laced with anger. I knew he was referring to the rather brutal beating Shrike handed out to me yesterday. I don't mind it that much. I've been given worse at his hands, and the pain has dulled considerably._

Han tenses, hoping Leia wasn't affected by the last line, but he knows it disturbed her. It has little effect on him. Even then, the beatings were just a sad fact of his life.

"_We need to get back at him," Wren continued with a wicked gleam in his eyes. "We need to give him some of the pain he gives to us!" Wren was starting to get passionate, like he tends to get when he comes up with an idea. That's why I like talking to Wren; he has a passion for life and for what he believes in that makes me want to stand up for myself. However, I rarely ever do when it comes to Shrike._

"_Wren, you're talking crazy," I tried to reason with him. "Shrike would only punish us both." But Wren shook his head with a smile on his face. "He doesn't have to know it was us who did it." All the sudden, it occurred to me what Wren was planning; a prank. He wasn't trying to 'get back' at Shrike through traditional methods. He wanted to pull a harmless, but probably frustrating prank on him. "Let's go for it," I replied happily. "But one thing Wren?" I asked. "What would that be?" he responded. "Can you let me get some sleep?"_

_We began executing our plan early the next morning. Both of us know Shrike's schedule inside and out. He gets up extremely early, goes to the kitchen of the ship to grab some food, uses the fresher, puts on his boots, and then calls for us all to get up. So, Wren and I waited behind a doorframe for sign that Shrike had left his room. Sure enough, the sound of a single door slamming shut gave Wren and me our cue. Like the vulpine thieves we are, we slipped away from the doorframe and near Shrike's room. Sure enough, it was completely empty. There was no question about it. It was definitely safe now._

_I slipped towards Shrike's boots, which were at the end of his bunk, as Wren approached his drawer, pulling it open with a devilish gleam in his eyes. I turned back to the boots, taking a jar out of my pocket in the process. It contained tons of tiny spiders that you can only find on this planet. Wren and I collected some earlier this week out of curiosity. It had been a pain to get them all in jars not because they wouldn't gather in them, but because they bit like crazy. Even though they are small, the bites hurt. Shrike will never see this coming and even if he suspects someone of it, pointing out that these spiders heavily populate the planet will quiet his suspicions._

_I released the spiders into the boots in front of me quite happily. They're so small that Shrike putting his feet in the boots will not kill them. It will only spur them on. While I can see Wren is pouring them into his shirts and pants so they will spread, I finish with the jar. Quickly, Wren and I rush out of his room together and jump back into our bunks, getting a half-hour more of sleep, but not letting the smiles be wiped off of our faces._

_We woke to the sound of Shrike's enraged yell. Wren and I looked at each other knowingly before both jumping up at the same time and throwing on our clothes. We raced to follow Shrike's order. It's not a good idea to lag behind when he's this insistent. When I saw Shrike, his boots were kicked off and he was struggling to itch them one at a time while still keeping his balance. It almost hurt to contain a smile. But then again, I usually don't smile in Shrike's presence, so I kept my calm._

"_Alright, which one of ya brats did this to me? Huh? C'mon now, 'fess up!" __Shrike immediately turns to me, and then looks at Wren by my side. Shrike pairs us up together in his mind not only because we're best friends, but also because people mistake us as brothers. His hair is just a shade darker and his eyes a slightly different hazel, but otherwise, he could be my twin. _ As we planned, Wren stepped up and started to speak. "Sir, it looks like you were bitten by the Farious **(A/N: Extra points if you can determine what word I butchered to make up that name!) **Spider._ It's a common insect on this planet. Most of us have been bitten ourselves. They're so small that they crawl on the ship easily." We knew Wren would have to be the one to say this because I'm both Shrike's favorite and most distrusted. It's a dangerous combination because Shrike's favorites have more disadvantages than advantages. Oddly enough, he's worse to you if you're a favorite._

_Shrike seemed to accept this, though certainly not happily. After he walked away grumbling, Wren and I looked at each other happily. We actually did it._

Leia's still laughing, much to Han's delight. He likes her laugh, he decides. He wishes she would laugh more.

"Wren was almost like the better, kinder and more forgiving version of me," Han states through laughs, surprised by the fact that his voice holds no sadness. All he's thinking about is the good times he had with Wren. It's true that Wren was the improved version of Han; they were both troublemakers and thieves, but Wren had a better moral compass, knowing immediately the difference between right and wrong when Han always struggled with it. In some ways, he was envious of Wren, but he also knew that when it came to the life they were leading, some of his 'better' traits were less than desirable.

"I'll find something else," Han says, now eager to find some more happy memories to feed the part of his brain aching of his friends. Flipping a few pages, he searches for Katalina's name somewhere in there. As soon as he finds it, he stops the page with his finger and reads.

_We're here on Naboo, and I can tell how hard it must be on Katalina. The first time we went back to Corellia after Shrike took me, it hurt to even look at this place I once called home, knowing it would never be my home again. I searched for relatives, but I obviously failed. I didn't really have a place to begin. When we landed, Wren, Katalina and I were sitting in her room, playing card games and laughing. As soon as we felt the ship touch the ground, Katalina stumbled up on her thin little legs and rushed to the window, sighing heavily as she looked out of it. Wren and I stayed silent, gently placing down our cards and waiting for her to turn around. It took quite some time before she actually did._

_We had some time before Shrike required our presence, so we all just sat together, not saying a word because the tension in the air didn't make it easy. Wren tried to put his arm around Katalina to comfort her, and she allowed it, but I could tell she was a wreck. Katalina is like a mystery to me sometimes. She has a contradicting personality; it's obvious she has the strong will to live or else she'd be dead by now, but she also seems so weak physically and emotionally. I can't figure her out, but that's why she has become such a good friend of mine. I want to uncover the truth behind Katalina one day._

_We were ordered off the ship, just the three of us. I knew right then and there that Wren and I were no longer 'partners in crime' on this ship. Now it was Wren, Katalina and I who had to face Shrike together. Now that he associates us with each other, we are going to do all of our big jobs together. We've been singled out, which is not a good thing. Here, you'd rather be invisible. Shrike appeared before us, looking at us with a smile on his face. "Good morning to the bunch of ya! Han, m'boy, you look taller; did you grow overnight? I swear, just yesterday you were a two year old!" As always, my heart leaped into my chest when he started talking about my past. Shrike is my gateway into my past. Only he can tell me what I don't know about me. My heart sunk when he continued, changing the subject. "_

_Oh, and Wren! You look well. Something's in your eyes that wasn't there before. I take it a certain somebody on this ship is charming you, am I right?" Wren blushed slightly and shielded his face. "And how could I forget the lovely Katalina? How are you this morning, dear?" Katalina smiled politely. "I'm good, sir." Shrike smiled heartily and chuckled at our shyness. This may sound odd for the rough, conniving, violent-tempered man I've described in this book thus far, but that's how Shrike works. He's cruel, but at the same time, he can act like he's your father. It's confusing. On one hand, I hate him and all that he's done to me. On the other, he's keeping me alive and he acts like he cares sometimes. All people need SOME type of father-figure in their life, right? I'm sure it's meant to keep us fearful, but not fearful enough to run away. I used to fall for the 'father act' when I was younger, but I'm growing more weary of it now._

_"I'm so glad I have you three here," Shrike continued. "There's an Imani _**(A/N: Made. It. Up.) **_fruit patch out on the south hill past these woods. I would go out with the rest of the crew and pick some myself, but surprise, surprise- it's illegal." I had to force myself not to roll my eyes. Of COURSE it's illegal! We wouldn't BE here if it wasn't! "You three are my sneakiest bunch. Between you, me and the ship, these kids are disappointments compared to you guys." The statement gave me no pride; none at all. It only made me glare at Shrike even sharper than before. I'm glad he didn't glance in my direction then, because I would have gotten my butt beaten right then and there for being disrespectful. "So, I'm sure I don't have to spell it out for you bright children. I want you to gather some of the fruit. I would tell you don't get caught, but I can count on you all. I know you won't get caught." He flashed another forced smile at us before disappearing into the ship._

_I groaned, Wren sighed, and Katalina shook her head disapprovingly. We have all been on quests to find food and trading materials before, and it's one of the most little appealing tasks Shrike dishes out. The thorns of the rare fruits scratch at your ankles until they become raw and bloody. The sun bares down on you intensely, making everyone sweat like slaves. By the time you're done, your back is sore from bending down to pick the fruit. It's an arduous task, and one I usually try to ignore. However, like I said, being Shrike's favorite comes with its disadvantages._

_We strolled to the Imani patch together with baskets in hand, taking short breaks underneath the shade of trees. Katalina would sometimes stop at a certain spot and point out any hazardous plants or any signs that rivers were nearby. She was totally in her element, and for a brief moment I wondered if that's what I look like when we dock in Corellia. Katalina, usually the demure, graceful one, lead the way the entire time. At one point, Wren and I accidentally walked in the opposite direction, and Katalina's giggle brought us back to reality as she pointed in the direction she was going. "It's over here, guys," she had said. Wren and I stuttered, embarrassed that we needed help from her to find our way around. We both consider ourselves very self-reliant and fine trackers, so being hopeless, bumbling idiots is a bit mortifying to us. Nonetheless, we just mumbled our thanks and followed her, looking down at the dirt as we went._

_The Imani patch was beautiful. Never before have I seen fields of fruit stretch so far, and green on blue has never looked so wonderful. There were hundreds of Imani fruits waiting to be picked, calling our name. However, all of us knew that we couldn't dare eat them. One fruit would lead to more, and if Shrike suspects you ate his cargo, you're in a world of trouble. Despite the rumbling of our stomachs and the hungry gazes towards the ripe fruit, we maintained our stoic stances, robotically taking out our baskets. I winced as I looked at the fruit, with the thorns surrounding it. It looks painful, to say the least. However, I can't go back to Shrike empty handed. The bruises still on my body from the last time I disappointed him are reminders of that. Sighing heavily, I reach my hand down into the patch while closing my eyes so I don't have to witness the sharp thorns piercing into the flesh of my hand._

_Suddenly, I felt Katalina's tiny hand clamp down on my wrist. "No, Han. There's another way." I looked at her curiously. She has been here for a few weeks, though Shrike has not 'put her to work' yet, I thought she knew Shrike is not a person to make angry. "What do you mean?" I asked her. Her face softened immediately as her mouth transformed into a brilliant smile. "I know my home planet. The Imani fruit has many imitators. Some are more convincing than others, and I just so happen to know a tree with some very similar fruit hanging from it…" She trailed off coyly, raising her eyebrows. Wren scooped her up from behind, twirling her around. "Katalina, my friend, you're a genius!" She giggled and giggled in Wren's grasp before he seemed to realize what he was doing and set her down, clearing his throat awkwardly. It seems like Wren has a little crush, doesn't it?_

_Katalina took both of our hand and lead us away from the forbidden fruit. I never once questioned whether or not she knew where she was going; I knew she did. She's been here before, I could tell. A shady tree was our destination. It was full of fruit that was so similar to the Imani fruit that I couldn't tell the difference at all. "You weren't exaggerating," Wren said, his voice full of awe. Katalina nodded triumphantly, her face full of pride. We all picked up our baskets and immediately started to gather the fruit. It was easy, much easier than getting mutilated by rouge thorns. Eventually, when our baskets were full, we all looked at each other. A look of understanding passed through our eyes and we all grabbed a fruit off of the tree and sat down to eat it. We rarely get moments like this where we can just relax and act our age._

_"What's it like to grow up on Naboo?" Wren asked before taking a bite out of his fruit. Katalina considered that question for a while then just shrugged. "I don't know… It's really pretty here, I guess. I had a lot of freedom. My mom didn't care what I did as long as I provided for our family and didn't get in trouble. Where did you guys grow up?" I told her Corellia, while Wren told her Tatooine. She was shocked when he told her, just like I was shocked when he told me before. "How did you survive there?" she asked in horror. Wren looked down and shrugged. "I don't really remember much about my childhood. I know I had a mom and a dad, but they weren't around much. I was kidnapped as a child and then sold to Shrike." Katalina looks at me. "And how did you end up here?" she asked. I knew I was going to be asked this question someday, so I took a deep breath and started my story;_

_"I was around three years old, I think, and I was wandering around Corellia. I had no idea where I was, who I was, or where I belonged. I only knew that my name was Han Solo and that I was starving. So, I did what came naturally to me. I pick-pocketed people so I could buy food. I was so swift and quick that no one saw it coming. I guess they eventually figured out that they lost their money around the time they stopped to talk to a crying kid, so I became a bit of a legend in the area. People either looked down upon me or took pity on me. Shrike heard about me and my skills. Of course, he wanted to recruit me. The old bastard just had to offer me some food and I willingly followed him onto the ship. He played on my childhood want for a parent so I wouldn't run away, and then he turned into his real self. Of course, the rest is history. The only reason I'm still here is because he knows things about my family that I want to find out. One day, maybe he'll tell me."_

Han jumps when Leia drops the book. Her eyes are sympathetic, even a bit watery. Han knows that she never sheds a tear for herself, but she'll cry a river for another person's sufferings. Quickly, he wraps a hesitant arm around her. "I'm alright," he assures her. "I'm fine now." Leia shakes her head, staring at him with wide eyes. "How could you say it's okay? What that man did to you and your friends…" Han cuts her off, "It's terrible, I know. But that was then. It's a part of who I am now. I grew from that and became who I am today, and believe me, I wouldn't change anything." Leia frowns at him. "Why wouldn't you change all that? It's horrible!" Han gives her a patient smile. He knew she wouldn't understand it so quickly. "If I hadn't been through all that, I wouldn't have met Wren and Katalina. I know losing them caused me a world of pain, but they made me a better person. They taught me to be passionate about what I feel is right, to live for the moment, to just jump into life because this second could be your last. But most of all… They taught me how to love." Han is realizing everything as he says it. They did teach him how to love someone. He never had a parent to do that for him, but he loved Wren and Katalina as if they were his siblings. For some years, he forgot how to be a good person and kept the lessons his friends taught him buried deep inside him, hiding them from the surface. But knowing Leia has brought those things out. She's like Wren and Katalina all over again.

Leia's face softens, her eyes still glowing with unshed tears. She opens her mouth, but no words come out. Instead, she begins to stutter, "I-I… I'm glad they taught you that." Han laughs lightly, taking her small hand in his large one. They are silent for a minute, but it's by no means awkward. "Are you hungry?" he asks suddenly, very aware that he's ruining the moment. He notices Leia looks disappointed, like she was expecting something more, but she wipes it off her face with a smile. "Yeah. Let's go get something to eat before Chewie gets to everything." They chuckle as they head off to the kitchen area of the ship hand-in-hand, leaving Han's childhood laying on the floor; in the past.

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**A/N: Soooooo, how did you like it? Was it not as good as the last chapter? Was it better? Tell me in the reviews, or PM me. Do whatever you want, just do SOMETHING! ;)**


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